The Money Pit, 1986

Starring Tom Hanks, Shelley Long.

Directed by Richard Benjamin

 

Chapter One

FOR SALE BY AUCTION—

SATURDAY 15 OCTOBER 1993

THE REX HOUSE

Grand old home with private 100-seat theater

Renovator’s delight. Original features.

Massive entry foyer, three reception rooms

Six bedrooms, one bathroom, kitchen with two pantries

 

At the wrong end of Mullabong Street, the bleak and crumbling mansion towered above its neighbors, shimmering in the summer heat. Faith Farmer pushed her way to the front of the gathered spectators, pulling a reluctant, tutting Gerald by the hand. The last time she’d been so excited and nervous was waiting to learn if she’d been nominated for an Oscar, and frankly, that didn’t bear remembering. Today, she had no intention of being overlooked or losing out to a second tier player.

Sandwiched between Mick’s Meats and DIY Handyman, the Rex House bore down on Warbol’s main street with a sad air of grimy decay. Chipped mustard stucco revealed gaping brickwork. Billposters plastered the massive doors. Shuttered windows spoke of cobwebs and wood rot within.

Oblivious to the building’s deficiencies, Faith Farmer kept her eyes locked on the auctioneer, who was standing in the brass-studded oak doorway, thrusting his hand back and forth with alarming rapidity.

“One hundred and fifty.” She threw her voice with an actress’s command. Channeling her stage performance as the formidable warrior, Boadicea, she’d scare the enemy into retreat with her determination to win at all costs, no matter the carnage she’d wreak.

Outside the partially boarded up building, a crowd of curious onlookers gasped and shuffled.

“One hundred and sixty.” The next bid came from a man in a smart suit, taking instructions via one of those wireless telephones.

Faith peered over her rhinestone spectacles and lifted her arm again. Gerald tried to prevent her, but she shook him off.

“One hundred and seventy.”

“Stop, Faith, you’re over your limit.” Gerald’s chins wobbled.

She ignored her dear friend and his willful prudence. This was her life’s dream come true … she was in love, and love would find a way. A theater … it had a private theater. She stared up at the derelict Victorian monstrosity’s gloomy facade and pictured it aglow with lights, restored to its early magnificence, a glittering reminder of post-Great War decadent splendor. The Rex Cinema—no, The Rex Movie House—would be a gem in a regional oasis devoid of cultural charm. A place for tourists to flock and proud locals to proclaim as their own. After all these years, she’d once again achieve fame and fortune. But this time, on her terms.

“I have one hundred and seventy thousand,” boomed the auctioneer. “Any advance?” He swung his gaze across the crowd.

Faith clutched Gerald’s arm, crossed her fingers, and closed her eyes. It would be a goldmine. People would come in droves, if for no other reason than to meet her. People loved a brush with fame. Her delusions about her on-screen success in the fifties—after that unfortunate false start in the forties—had inflated in proportion with her advancing years. In truth, she’d featured in overblown tragedies with bad scripts.

“Two hundred,” from telephone man.

Faith’s eyes snapped open, and without stopping to think, she shouted, “Two ten.”

“Two twenty.”

“Two twenty-one.” Faith’s pulse jack-knifed at her daring.

Gerald muttered under his breath. “You can’t afford it.”

“I shall sell my diamonds.” They’d only ever brought her bad luck, she was sure of it. At times like these, diamonds truly were a girl’s best friend. Her dream was tantalizingly close to coming true, and she had no intention of foregoing this prospect of a happier future. Not one spent moldering in a rented bungalow with little entertainment other than memories. She clasped her hands together and held her breath.

Telephone man shook his head.

The auctioneer slammed down his gavel. “Sold for two hundred and twenty-one thousand dollars. Congratulations, madam.”

Faith blinked twice in thrilled disbelief and pressed a hand to her breast. Gerald eyed the rundown mansion’s crumbling brickwork.

Faith saw fame. Gerald saw debts. They both sighed in unison.